I Am A Colossal Idiot

I could write a War and Peace-length book about how much I fail as a functional human being.

Take this morning for example. I brought a Fiber One brownie to work and stuck it in the freezer for a snack. It’s never too early for some chocolaty goodness, and I was really craving it by 9. I guess the freezer at work is a lot stronger than mine at home, because the brownie was too hard to eat. “No problem,” I said to myself. “I’ll just nuke it for a bit!”

Not a bad idea, right? Except for the part where I’m a complete moron and thought 45 seconds would do the trick. Yeah, that warmed the brownie alright… and filled the microwave with smoke. Oops.

So after cleaning the kitchen I nearly burned down, I sadly picked at my crumbly, blackened brownie. Then I ate it. It tasted like an ashtray and burned my tongue, but I freaking ate that thing. My tastebuds are still stinging.

The really sad part is that this kind of thing is totally typical of me. It’s truly a miracle I haven’t earned myself a Darwin Award yet.

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About Courtney O.

I do not like to write these bios.

Posted on 09/12/2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Lol. Gross. But Laney spit up all over me today and I am covered in bug bites, so I am in no position to judge anyone’s life. But still, gross.

  2. It is a write og passage to adulthood to over nuke your food several times until you understand the power of microwave ovens.

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