Blog Archives

Random Monday? Sure, Why Not?

I seriously suck at blogging. I thought doing the Random Saturday thing would at least keep me updating on a semi-regular basis, but I just didn’t feel like it this weekend. Whatever, I feel like it now. Random Monday, suckaz!

  1. The best thing about this time of year is all the fun, limited-edition holiday treats! My favorite thus far is Starbucks’ Peppermint Mocha. It perfectly combines the beautiful, rich flavors of mint and chocolate into one happy cup. And if you order the tall size skinny-style, it’s only a hundred calories and still tastes like Heaven on Earth.

    Don't care what the hipsters say; Starbucks 'til I die.

  2. The worst thing about this time of year is that all the good TV shows are going on their winter hiatus. Only one more new episode of It’s Always Sunny left, and last week saw the last of Up All Night, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Parks and Rec, and Grimm until 2012. I’ve managed to survive without The Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle for a few weeks now, but dear Lord, I don’t think I can handle all my shows disappearing! And that’s not even mentioning Community‘s extended hiatus and possible cancellation. LIFE HAS NO MEANING.

    Me not so merry, Britta. Me not.

  3. Speaking of It’s Always Sunny, hahahahahaRonaldMcDonaldhahahahaha!

    Nothing more perfect.

  4. According to this Consumer Reports survey, people find “having to be nice” to be the tenth most stressful thing about the holidays. Clearly I did not take this survey, as that would be my Number One. Everything else on the list is stuff I really, really hate as well. Except parties, because I never get invited to any.

    "Who even wants to go to your stupid, lame, totally awesome parties anyway?"

  5. Weighed myself the other day. Have gained a substantial amount of weight since pre-surgery days. Am not happy about such developments.

    At least I don't sing crappy pop songs for a living.

  6. Might have something to do with my discovering the wonders of all the self-serve fro yo joints scattered around Philadelphia. But frozen yogurt has, like, essential nutrients. So I should eat one at least once a day.

    Better than choking down Flintstone vitamins.

  7. Might also have something to do with my skipping work-outs on the weekends. But I’m far too busy reading snarky Sweet Valley High recapsand napping to even consider fitness. And, you know, muscle-recovery days, don’t wanna over-train, yadda yadda yadda…

    "I'M CONDITIONING MY BODY, DAMMIT."

  8. Friday night I hung out with Becky and Ryan! It was fun because I haven’t seen Ryan in about eleventy billion years, and we went to Friendly’s for ice cream (that peanut butter lava cake sundae so has nothing to do with my weight-gain) then drove around for a while just playing catch-up. Both of them read the blog, so wassup?

    Was this worth hundreds of calories? ....Yeah, I'd say so. It was pretty freaking delicious.

  9. Saw Hugo with Becky on Saturday morning. It was pretty amazing, but nothing like what the trailers would have you believe. It had lots of stuff for film nerds to fangasm over, especially those of us with an affinity for silent films. Put this down as yet another Scorsese masterpiece. (Honestly, is there any better director currently working in Hollywood? If you say “yes,” you’re a lying-pants’d liar. Get over your sick delusions.)

    See the movie, but don't let this thing haunt your dreams.

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I Am A Colossal Idiot

I could write a War and Peace-length book about how much I fail as a functional human being.

Take this morning for example. I brought a Fiber One brownie to work and stuck it in the freezer for a snack. It’s never too early for some chocolaty goodness, and I was really craving it by 9. I guess the freezer at work is a lot stronger than mine at home, because the brownie was too hard to eat. “No problem,” I said to myself. “I’ll just nuke it for a bit!”

Not a bad idea, right? Except for the part where I’m a complete moron and thought 45 seconds would do the trick. Yeah, that warmed the brownie alright…¬†and filled the microwave with smoke. Oops.

So after cleaning the kitchen I nearly burned down, I sadly picked at my crumbly, blackened brownie. Then I ate it. It tasted like an ashtray and burned my tongue, but I freaking ate that thing. My tastebuds are still stinging.

The really sad part is that this kind of thing is totally typical of me. It’s truly a miracle I haven’t earned myself a Darwin Award yet.